booksstackAbout the Book

F.A.G. is nine chapters, 432-pages, and divided into three parts:

 Self – Who Am I?

 Society in Self – The Living Ain’t Easy, and

 Self in Society – Finding Amen

Some will look at its title: F.A.G., and claim it incendiary, but when one attempts to change a narrative, he begins with a word. The word “fag” has terrorized gay people for decades and moving forward, when a young boy or grown man who is called a fag types F-A-G into a computer or mobile device, he will see Facts About Gays, which explicitly details how gays are more than what we have been called.

At a time when 54 percent of the mainstream is embracing gays and more gays are coming out, my intent is to provide answers to questions and be a conduit to conversation. A Queen’s English, A Very Gay Dictionary (p 361) helps.

Parents need this book, educators need it, co-workers need, and so do some gays who find themselves in a battle with their sexuality, reminding me that freedom in its entirety cannot be legislated, but is a state of mind.

I write for the sake of freedom.

A section in F.A.G. called Gaydiquette (p 336) is filled with advice on how to properly navigate homosexual life. Matrimonial gaydiquette (p 356) advises how to negotiate gay marriage in those (19) states that allow it. In Chapters 1 and 2, I delve into the whys and how come of gay, the struggle: mental and emotional, and lay bare what it is that gay men seek. I confront the role of molestation as sexual interference in Chapter 3, and in Chapter 4, the outdated sex laws of the church, which have proven to interfere with spiritual lives. In Chapter 5, I discuss the wicked and wonderful gay culture. Chapter six is called Chapter SEX and it’s all about sex and includes ‘A SEX TEST’ that will give men pause. Chapter 7 is a discussion about the horny search for love on apps and the Internet, Chapter 8 is about the struggle to love, and Chapter 9, with its Top 10 Ways to Mate-a-Man, aims to show how love is done, especially for self.

Columbia University professor Andrew Gelman says people have a network of 750 people and 5 percent of those are gay (p 329). Yet, as each gay person can attest, including Jason Collins and Michael Sam, coming out happens in its own time. Even in today’s arms-arched-like-a-rainbow climate, gay children made homeless due to their sexual orientation, know it’s not always safe to come out…and so I write with the hope people will read Facts About Gays and see people whom they consider  to be fags differently.

Get into it.

Share it with friends so they can stop asking stupid questions like, “Which of you is the ‘lady?’”


Ooh la lies! (Part II Chapter Sex, p 181)

When it comes to men and sex some will be coy, some will embellish, and some will outright lie! How many times has someone lied to you about his penis size? Have you ever lied about yours? What about your relationship status to that cute guy you met on the train? —“Uh, I don’t have a boyfriend.” Or your STD status (withholding arguably is the same as lying)! Well, here’s your chance to come clean. Read More

Playing god (Part I Ch. 2, p 63)

In August 2012, shortly before his 30th birthday, my GGF made the decision to tell his mother he was gay. Her response: “I should have had the abortion. Your father wanted me to have it but your grandmother said she would raise you. I should not have had you.”

Hearing he wasn’t wanted, born and still not wanted, my friend contemplated following through with the initial thought to take his life. Read More

“Which of you is the ‘lady?’” (Part II Ch. 5, p 136)

It’s the funniest thing when straight people find out my lover and I are gay. In social settings, invariably, a straight person, after a few cocktails of course, hunches over and dares to whisper to another loudly enough so we can hear: “Which one of them do you think is the ‘lady?’”

I hunch back over and matter-of-factly state: “Neither.” Oddly, this dumbfounds them. Brows crinkle. Read More